She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
