you would pick up someone in the library
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
