there's paper in my vomit.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
