i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How naked do you want me to be?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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