Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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