yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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