My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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