When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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