Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
