So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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