i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
only if we run a train.
done.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
