I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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