I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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