My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
