If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
