So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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