God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
