maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
