We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
worst night to have a conscience
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
