Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
