I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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