WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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