dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
