just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
