Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
