I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
