id be glad to
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
