New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
