Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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