very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
