lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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