do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
