A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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