drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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