Four minutes until I can fart!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
