i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
