is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
