I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
