i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
