To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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