cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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