yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
