whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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