Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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