the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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