We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
