All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
