Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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