I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
