I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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