can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
