the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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