when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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