I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
