Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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