She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
