I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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