You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
