accomplished twins. life is a go
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
