you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
